The Impossible Choice of Millennial Women in Korea’s Give-Up Generation by Anne Lee

My childhood ran on a conveyor belt of nannies. Even with a lineup of women helping her, my working mom regretted thinking she could have the best of both motherhood and career. “Maybe I should have chosen one over the other,” she tells me now. The generation succeeding her expresses even greater disillusionment. Among increasingly individualistic Koreans struggling with modernity in a collectivist society, millennial women feel conflicted between raising a family and pursuing a career. Stuck between progress and tradition, these women see a dim future on both fronts. Consequently, the fertility rate is falling near one (the lowest OECD level), and the gender employment gap for those aged 15-64 is the fourth largest among OECD countries at 18%.1.

South Korea redefined itself after the Korean War (1950-1953) with unparalleled economic progress. Between 1961 to 1990, exports skyrocketed from $41 million to $65 billion. Simultaneously, the number of female workers increased 14-fold.2 As Korea emerged from its war-torn, agricultural foundations into an industrialized leader of technology, social progress followed. Though the ‘80s brought forth a surge of gender equality improvements continuing today, rapid modernization brought forth a new wave of losses. Despite its GDP ranking 10th globally, South Korea scores abysmally in OECD measurements of social connections and work-life balance.3 The youth blame their modern society’s rigid education system, view of success, and corporate culture for their plight. Millennials are called the “sampo” (give up three) generation; harsh competition and cost of living pressure the working class into giving up on courtship, marriage, and childbirth.4 To chase socioeconomic status, they must forfeit emotional well-being. 

For employed women, this bargain is an illusory trap. They are not only torn between family life and career but also bear the brunt of either choice. Although high demands stifle the entire give-up generation, systemic discrimination and cultural expectations specifically target women. The cutthroat competition of modern-day child-rearing intensifies traditional motherhood and worsens stigmas against working mothers. For example, it is illegal to dismiss female employees for getting married or pregnant, but recent court cases reveal such discrimination in the hiring process. One CEO justified his company’s actions for avoiding “interrupt[ing] business continuity due to maternity leave.”5 With this logic, corporations favor economic progress over social accommodation. As double standards force women into submitting to domestic responsibilities or expunging themselves from any such role, many fall short in their compromise. Prejudices bar those who choose work, and Korea’s gender wage gap remains the OECD highest at 34%.6 Thus, women falter on both fronts of employment and maternity. 

Last year, deaths exceeded births for the first time in Korean history.7 The nation needs mothers now more than ever. The decreasing interest in childbirth impacts not only women’s well-being but also Korea’s economic standing. The working-age population is already declining, heralding repercussions. UN Women theorized that gender equality would foster economic growth around the world.8 The irony in Korea is that the very economic developments that supported female involvement are stifling women from further progress. Korea’s new paternity leave and childcare reforms alleviating working mothers’ burdens are inadequate, as the Korean youth sees few advantages in starting a family in the first place.9 This give-up mindset devastates the fertility rate. One approach to curb this pessimism is “gender mainstreaming,” or considering gendered implications even in not explicitly gendered policy-making areas.10 Curing Korean millennials’ underlying give-up culture by enabling flexibility in a rigid generation could indirectly aid female employment, fertility, and general well-being. Policies such as those encouraging better work-life balance could help relax competition among employees and improve economic efficiency while renewing interests in child-rearing. 

Women maintaining strong careers and families can inspire the next generation of working mothers. Yoo Myung-hee is the Korean Minister for Trade and the runner-up in the recent WTO Director-General election. She is also my friend’s mother who comes to our school’s theater performances and career days. Like my own mom, she has grappled with the unfair conflict of interests. She shared with me her heartbreaking decision to ignore her daughter’s calls during an urgent meeting. Her usually loving daughter texted back, “I wish I could have [a] stay-at-home mom like other kids… and hate you being a busy working mom.” Though not a millennial herself, her struggles resonate with millennial fears of compromise. Still, for Yoo, balancing family and work is her “lifelong homework.”11 This sentiment resonates with the entire nation as it aims to support working mothers—the women of the future—in thriving in the workplace and at home.